Finding a good person or a good partner requires the seeker to be good as well. A good person and a bad person cannot have a good relationship. There will always be never ending conflict or misunderstanding between them. It takes like-minded people, people with the same depth of character or thinking or direction to have a good relationship.
Whether you are a good person or have a good character, it is not difficult spotting your kind. It is easy for a thief to catch a thief than someone who is not a thief. This is why the crime officers are trained, for them to catch a criminal they must think like a criminal.
The process of finding a good partner is not hard or difficult, however, what is hard or difficult is how to become a good partner yourself. You could come across a good partner but your actions can cause you to lose them, because you don’t know the value of what you had.
It’s rather unfortunate many people are looking for a good spouse but few are interested in becoming a good spouse. It will take a good man to treat a good woman good. Same way it takes a good woman to treat a good man good.
If you are good, it’s your nature, even if you find yourself with a bad person, your partner’s behavior or actions do not change you. You rather have a positive influence on them. Your actions can cause a bad person to change for good.
But if you are a bad person, you treat people just as you are. No matter how good the person is to you, you will still treat the person bad. You just cannot give what you don’t have.
A good spouse or person will love others just as they love themselves. If he or she sees good in themselves, they see good in others. If they respect themselves, they will respect you. It’s easy for such a person to put you first because they have placed themselves first.
Selfishness is not in the books of a good spouse. A good spouse doesn’t take delight in hurting others, for they cannot hurt themselves. They don’t take delight in lying to others for they cannot lie to themselves.
A bad spouse is a selfish person, all that matters to them is their interest in the relationship. They treat themselves better than any other person. They are always right, their partner and others are always wrong.
They set rules for their partners in the relationship, asking them not to do ABC. It’s a taboo when their partner goes against their laid down rules but it’s okay or fine for them to go against the rules, in their minds the rules do not apply to them. They are always belittling their partner with their position, what they have, how better they are than their partner.
If you want a good spouse, make it a goal to become one, for you cannot see in others what you don’t see in yourself. Whatever you are looking for begins with you. When you become a good spouse you don’t just answer someone’s prayer, you also answer yours.
In conclusion, “The second most important commandment says: ‘Love others as much as you love yourself.’ No other commandment is more important than these” – Mark 12:31 (CEV).
Please share it with your friends. Someone out there needs this.
© Frank Edem Adofoli